Who knew??

In the past week lots has happened, and yet nothing has really changed.

Christmas came and went, but for the first time in a very long time I actually took time to enjoy myself. There is something about being told that you have a potentially life threatening illness that makes you slow down and enjoy the moments. I refused to let my self get stressed about not having enough money, or not getting everything done by Christmas morning... instead of an actual hat a few siblings got a box of yarn... so what? Isn't it ultimately the thought that counts? Besides we all found it pretty funny when Sherri asked if she was supposed to finish her own :p

I saw my specialist the Wednesday before Christmas. He didn't have the pathology results back yet, so I am as of yet, unofficially diagnosed. As we talked though we discovered more and more of the health challenges that I've been facing the past few years are related to Chron's Disease. Its amazing what a Doctor that actually listens to you can discover along the way!

I've been placed on a fairly strong steroid to bring the worst of the pain and symptoms under control. It is to be a short term measure to bring my body back into balance. In the past week or so I have slept better than I have in several years! Who knew that 7 or 8 hours of uninterrupted, pain free sleep could feel so heavenly?!?!? Some of the side effects of the drugs aren't fantastic... but compared to the way I was living... whats a little heart burn?

I am very much looking forward to 2011. Its going to be an amazing year! I know that there will be many challenges and some major life changes ahead... but I can hardly wait! My first goal for 2011... get a real bed! No more of this sleeping on a mattress on the floor stuff for me :) Goal number 2 ( which I am already actively pursuing) is finding a place of my own. I love the friends that I am living with, and their kids... but I need something that is mine. Especially with all the changes coming my way, I'm going to need my own kitchen:)

So I am off to look at apartments today. Praying that God leads me to the perfect place in the perfect location!

Here's the latest...

Time for an update... this way I only have to type it once and then I can just send people here when they want to know whats going on...

Yesterday (December 17) I spent the day at the hospital for some tests and a colonoscopy. The preparation for the colonoscopy was not at all fun, but it was a picnic compared to how my body reacted to the actual procedure. I ended up staying twice the usual recovery time.

The Doctor came and talked to my Mom while I was recovering and told us that I either have ulsorative colitus or (and more likely) Chron's disease. I have an appointment on Wednesday to get the biopsy results back and to talk about treatment options.

I'm stuck in bed for the next day or two and I am very grateful that my mom loves me enough to give up her bed for a couple nights so that I can be where there is family to take care of me. Not to mention that the mattress on the floor of my room doesn't really cut it for re cooperating.

So as of right now the doctor's diagnoses is not looking great, and the facts are not in my favor, However I know the TRUTH. The TRUTH is I know the Ultimate Physician and HIS diagnosis is just a little bit different :)

Continue to agree with me for peace, wisdom for the doctors, direction as I start a new chapter of my life, but most of all for Healing!

Thanks!

In case you were wondering...

A couple people have noticed some of my "not so happy" facebook statuses and have asked me what's up... so I though I'd update my sadly neglected blog and let everybody ( all 4 of you that actually read this thing that is) in on whats going on with me.

I moved back to Kitchener in the middle of October. Pretty much since then I've been sick. Been to the doctors, had tons of blood taken and lots of tests run, and still no concrete answers. My iron is very, very low,I am tired all the time and I've lost a bunch of weight (not that I am complaining about that part at all!). I can't eat much and when I do it hurts. I've been sent to a specialist and I've got a biopsy and some other tests scheduled for next friday (the 17th).

Top that off with getting let go from the telemarketing job ( I was not created to sell people cable and intnernet!!), and I've been having a rough couple months.

BUT God has been more than faithful!! He's been providing in ways I never though possible. I have to drive my sister to work now, but I just wanted to ask that you pray for me. Pray for healing, wisdom for the doctors, and continued provision.

Thanks and I'll try to keep everyone updated.

Jennifer

Hurray !!!!

Today is back to school!!!

But not for me... for "M" :) Anyone who knows me knows that I was home schooled my entire life... so back to school was never a really big deal. I think that this year is the first time that I've ever been really, really excited about it.

The excitement is not so much from the fact that "M" will be gone for half the day (although I don't mind LOL), but more from the fact that after a very chaotic, messed up summer, we'll finally be getting back into a routine. This summer was fun... but so stressful!

I think that most humans thrive on a routine, but they never really realize it. I know that I can give my job and the family I work for my best when I have a "schedule". Its just the way that I was created.

Oh and one other thing... I've made a solid decision about moving to Florida... I just have to firm everything up with my bosses, but I'm going to go :)

Now to figure out what to pack and what to leave behind for 5 months.... :s

To move or not to move...

As some of you know my bosses have asked me to move with them to Florida for the winter. And while that idea is immensely appealing... there is a catch. If I go I'd have to share a room with "M" (the 15 year old that I nanny/tutor/drive around). And while overall she's a good kid (if slightly spoiled), she is still a teenager. And I highly value my privacy.

We talked about options today... she really, really, really wants me to come with them for the 5 months they will be there... some of the options we came up with included putting up some sort of dividing wall, me coming after christmas, and me flying back and forth a couple times around her school schedule. All which could potentially work.

So I am asking for you opinion.. Go or stay? Share a room or fly back and forth?

Please keep in mind that until I get to talk to the Parents, this is strictly a theoretical discussion.

Thanks for your input!

I know...

OK so its been forever since I've posted... I guess I felt like I ran out of things to write. I mentioned that to someone the other day and they were like "Are you kidding?!?! You're a walking story!!" I guess that's a compliment. Right?

There is always so much floating around in head. Trying to pinpoint something can be next to impossible at times. Lately I have just been thinking about my life. The things that have happened... The things that are happening... and the things that I want to happen. And the people that have been/are a part of my story.

Sometimes its hard for me to believe that this is me life. I just turned 27... ya I know... I'm getting old (LOL). And this is definitely not where I thought I would be. But all things considered, I'm not doing to badly. Are there things in my life that I wish I could change? Abso-friggin-lutely!! And there are other things (life lessons) that you couldn't pay me to undo.

Things I've learned...
I'm stronger than I ever thought I was.
The "stuff" (aka crap) I've gone through can actually help other people if I let it.
Letting fear dictate my life means that I miss out on the most important things.
People, not things, are what matter in life!

I'm sure there are about a billion things that I could add to that list. But those are the things that are at the top of my list right now.

Well its time for me to head to bed... so I guess that's enough for now. I promise to write more soon :)

For my Girl Jac :)

On of my favorite people recently started a new blog. She's probably one of the most creative people I know and is the original inspiration behind my scrapbooking/ card making addiction.

I love this Idea and may do it for my birthday as well :)

http://jacernst.typepad.com/sunshinethroughmywindow/2010/05/blog-candy.html

BLOG CANDY.....

So I know everyone loves a little candy treat every once in a while. Well I have some nice blog candy for one lucky person.

Since it's my birthday next Tuesday, I thought I would share my day and give someone else a present. I'm giving away a Starbucks travel mug, and a $20 gift card.

Want to have a shot at getting some quality time with coffee? Here's the scoop. Post a comment on this post with a link to your blog or twitter or facebook page that tells others about this blog candy and maybe a little birthday message for me :).
On my birthday , June 1st, I will randomly choose one winner, and post it here.
Good luck!!

what + if = ???

I went to the movies last night with "the family" and we saw 'letters to Juliet'. And I must say I LOVED it! I'm not going to go into details about the movie. If you've seen the previews then you know its about finding a long lost 'true love'. It was a very nice way to spend a Sunday evening.

Now I'm not bring up this movie because I want to "review" it, or talk about the plot or the premise of finding ones true love. What I want to talk about is part of the letter that is read at the end of the movie.

"'What' and ‘if’ two words as nonthreatening as words come. But put them together side-by-side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life: ‘What if?'..."

For anyone who has ever made a mistake, no matter how minor (which is essentially everyone), you know how those words can wreak havoc on your soul. I know that I went through a rough period of time a couple of years ago where the words "what if?" haunted my every waking moment. It was a horrible way to live, if you can even call that living.

On day I decided that I'd had enough. I decided that I wasn't going to let the choices that someone else made dictate my future. I decided to live with no regrets.

So I challenge you to do the same. Don't let the words "what" and "if" ruin your future...

Its a beautiful day! Go out and live it!

In this moment...

Today was a really good day.

One of those days where you get more than you expected accomplished and still have time for a nap. The type of day you look back on and say "wow! I feel good about today!"

Today started early, way earlier than necessary (I woke up at 6 am and was unable to fall back asleep). So I made the most of it, tidied my room, did 2 loads of laundry and made breakfast for "the family". Dropped "M" off at school and headed to KW. I did a ton of running around, got my old car on the road and was able to bless someone with the use of it for a couple weeks while they are getting their vehicle fixed. Had lunch with friends I hardly ever see any more. Got some legal paperwork taken care of. Went to the market. Had a nice chat with my mom. Had a nap at my mom's. Drove back to Orangeville. Had dinner with "the family". Got home, cleaned out the truck and put away the groceries. Got ready for bed, and then had an amazing conversation with "M".

Now I am not saying all this stuff to talk about how wonderful and amazing I am (we already know I am the coolest thing since sliced bread. LOL). I guess what I am trying to point out that for me, it was a wonderfully successful day because I was able "to do relationships". That is what drives and motivates me. I thrive on relationships. Even without the really good conversation that "M" and I had today would have been a great day...

But our conversation was like the icing on the cake, but not just any icing on any old cake. It was one of those moments that make some of the hardest lessons that you've learned in your life worth it. A moment were you know what you're saying is impacting someone else's life for the better.

I've only lived here with "the family" for a little over 2 weeks, but I already feel like I've made a lasting impression. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God placed me with this family. It is such an amazing feeling to know that you are walking out your destiny!

gotta say it... Thanks mom!!

Ever had one of those moments when you open your mouth and your mother "falls out"? Not that its necessarily a bad thing... and in this instance its not. In fact I'm so glad that it happened.

For anyone that has been following my blog I recently started a new job working as a nanny for a family with a 14 year old. Now I remember being 14, kinda, and I know that its not always easy dealing with parents, raging hormones, and peer pressure from friends. But I have to say that "M" is doing pretty good. Her grades are excellent, she's committed to figure skating and all that it entails, and is usually pretty respectful of her parents. But like all teenagers she has her "moments".

One of these moments happened saturday morning. "M" had been asked to clean up a room in the barn in preparation for a mothers day/birthday celebration. Her friend was here and "S" (the mom) offered them $20 each for doing the job. They split up the work and got it done, supposedly. "S" went out and inspected the work. Lets just say it was less than satisfactory. "S" came back into the house and the proverbial shit hit the fan. Her biggest issue was the fact that "M" let her friend get away with shoddy work. The tasks that "M" took charge of were done well, her friends tasks, not so much. "S" wanted "M" to learn that she needs to take responsibility for the WHOLE job.

So... after things calmed down a bit, "M" and I had a really good conversation. I talked to her about trying to see things the way her mom does. We talked about how that even though she was upset as well, that if she takes a step back and LISTENS to her mom, that things can be resolved way faster. A couple of the things that I said were almost word for word "my mom"... I could practically hear her in my head as I said them.

That afternoon I headed home. I could hardly wait to see my mom and talk to her. And to thank her for the valuable lessons that she taught me, even when I wasn't all that grateful. So next time your mother "falls out of your mouth", call her and thank her for the lessons that she imparted for to you.

Love you mom!

Oh so New!

WOW!!

It's may already! Seems like this year is flying by. May is all about newness for me, at least so far. New Job, new place to live, new city,new bedroom, new car, new family to get used to... all wonderful things, but alot to take in all at once.

Today was my first official day "on the job". Things went amazingly! My boss got me a gym membership and I got to work out today for the first time in ages. It felt so good :)

I'm still trying to get the routine down... it'll take a bit of time but it won't be too hard. Basically I'll be driving back and forth to rim park, working out, shopping and visiting with friends while "M" does her training. Every day will be different and thats perfect for me :)

The biggest change I have to make and stick to is a new bed time. No more staying up until one or two o'clock in the morning. I gotta be "up and at'em" by 7 am. Now while that may not seem that early to some of you, its early for me.

So... I'm off to bed! Yay bed!!

Blast from the Past

Yesterday I got some news... not the "hurray, that is sooooo exciting" kind, but the kind of news that make you want to hit something, or scream and yell and cry or do all of the above at the same time. After I was done wanting to hit things, I started singing. Some of the lyrics to Carman's "There is a GOD" popped into my head and I started singing...

There is a hope, there is a light
There is an answer to all answers
There is a flame that burns in the night
And I know, I know, I know there is a God

The rest of the lyrics talk about the basic facts of nature/science that reveal God's glory and His exsistance (you can find them at http://www.ap0s7le.com/list/song/3174/Carman/There_Is_a_God/). The other line in that song that kept repeating over and over in my mind is "If there's a design, there's a designer, if there's a plan, there's a planner and if there's a miracle, there is a God."

So I decided to head on over to Youtube and relive a little of my childhood. Watching Carman "dance" around in overalls, "shoot up a saloon", and go "first Knight" on some demons almost brought me to tears. My spirit needed to be reminded that there IS a God that knows the answer to all things, that has a plan and a purpose far beyond what we know or understand, and He only has our best in mind.

Despite the awful graphics and the super lame 90's dance moves, my soul and spirit we ministered to by a blast from my past.

Cards, Coffee, and Chaos

I'm moving on saturday and I have not packed a thing! My room is in utter chaos and I've been struck with the creative urge to make cards! I've made 15 cards in the past 12 hours, which may not seem like much, but I slept for 8 of those hours. And I am "technically" supposed to be working at the moment. I'll take pics and post on my card site (http://allforyouservices.webs.com)

I can justify my procrastination of packing due to the fact that I have a craft show/sale coming up in in May (the 16th). So it is something that needs to get done... just not right at the moment. I really should be packing and not blogging... Oh well.

I'll take the inspiration when it comes.

Last night I went out to my very last "Crafty Girls Night" not that I've made it to all that many, but now that its not an option I'm uber sad :( I've had some AMAZING conversations with some SUPER AWESOME women the few times that I've made it. I love doing life with these women and I've laid a strong foundation with some of them for a friendship that will hopefully last a long, long time(even with me living in orangeville). Its so refreshing to be open and real with real women. Thanks Ladies!! I'm gonna miss our late night talks... and you better invite me over when I'm home ;)

OK... procrastination time is over... time to get to packing!

Changes!

WOW... so when I choose the tag line of "life never ceases to amaze me" I had just no idea how true that could be. Seems like my life has been changing at warp speed this weekend!

The biggest change being that I am moving to Orangeville! Its only about 1hr and 15 min to 1 hr and 30 min away depending on traffic, but I have never, ever lived so far from home. But I know that this is the job that I am supposed to have, so I am at peace with the distance. Plus as part of the job I will be driving to Waterloo and then back to Orangeville several times a week. So I can still see family and friends during the day when I'm here... coffee date anyone?? :)

The other smaller changes come as a byproduct of moving. I know that I am gonna miss Ryder (he's the little guy that I am currently a nanny too) and his family. I've been here for 6 months! Can't help but get attached after a while. My Church life will be changing as well. I have committed to coming back to Koinonia at least twice a month, so I'll be looking for another "co church" in the Orangeville area. I've never really gone to another church, so this will be interesting!

So for all of you now asking yourselves "what job could possibly drag Jenn to Orangeville??" I'm gonna tell you all about it...

THE JOB...
I will be working as a Nanny with a family that has a 14 year old daughter. She is a competitive figure skater and trains at rim park (thus driving to waterloo several times a week) The family owns and operates a Warmblood horse breeding and training facility, and yes I will get to ride :D

So the bulk of my responsibility will be caring for "M" (thats the 14 yr old). I'll be driving her to school, then picking her up and driving her to Rim park and then bringing her home. It will be a lot of driving, but I get a "household vehicle" to use as my own for as long as I am a member of the household. Pretty exciting :D The family covers the cost of pretty much everything including gas, insurance, and cell phone. Plus what they are paying me is a significant raise over what I am currently making. YAY GOD!!!

On the days that I am not driving "M" around (her mom and I will take turns) I will doing house works and cooking/baking... which I love to do (the cooking/baking part) so it won't feel like work at all. I'll also be helping "M" with school work since she does half her courses by correspondence.

"S" and "A", the mom and the dad of the family, are totally cool with me enrolling in some online courses. So I plan to start that in about a month, once I'm settled in and have the routine down.

So... I think that covers the basics of what will be happening in my life... in just ONE SHORT WEEK!

Guess I better get packing!

The beginning

Well... I have decided to join the world of bloggers. I am not sure what path my blog will follow, all I know is that it will follow my inspirations.

I find that everyday I find some new inspiration... and I never know where it will come from and what form it will take. Sometimes it is very practical, such as the work I do with my cards, or my latest project of coaster making. Sometimes my inspiration takes a very whimsical form and other times its music or poetry. All I know is that my soul craves it. I need my inspiration to get through each day...

There is a line in a song (don't hate me cause its a country song) that goes... "life ain't always beautiful. Tears will fall sometimes. Life ain't always beautiful. But it's a beautiful ride." This song probably applies to many people, but in my opinion especially to me. I have had more than my share of tears and life has, at moments, been very ugly, and yet I carry on. Not in my own strength, but in the strength of my greatest inspiration (I promise not to get "preachy") which is found in God.

Some posts will find me rambling on, others will be about whatever project I am working on at the time. And I promise that I will try very hard not to bore you!

Please feel free to comment... I need the inspiration of feedback :)